Diet Progress 2

Well last Saturday I created my weight monitor ticker, went public with how bad my problem is! My friends still do not know the full horror of my weight, only my weight loss. When I get nearer to my target weight or a significant milestone I may feel able to share with them how much control I had lost.

Although I created the ticker last week, I had actually gained 2 lbs over the previous week to take me to 345lbs. I had a week where anything and everything was impacting on my willpower. I had put in for a position at work and was not shortlisted. I had not wanted to put in for the position but felt the security of any job was better than being an interim senior manager, yet I knew the position was wrong for me. The Director knew I would hate the job within months if I got it, so rather than appoint someone who would end up hating what she had done he asked me to stay on for at least another 6 months and carry on with the level of work I am doing. I feel better about that. This also helped me to deal with another decision I have to make, whether to put in for a very senior level post back down in London again - it would be the pinnacle of my career if I got it, and more than that, the position really motivates me when I think about it. So I have made up my mind to go for it.

I lost control of my eating for the week before last because I was scared I would be shortlisted/get a job I would hate yet I never listened to my own feelings, I just listened to my practical self. I am my own worst enemy sometimes (well, all the time).

I lost 2lbs this week (weighed in today). So back on the right track again. I feel I have lost March, I could have been so much further on! I have to start listening to my own innermost feelings and stop reacting. Easier said than done! I have not been perfect this week, but I stuck to the plan on 4 out of the 7 days, so that has made the difference. Now, if I can stick to the plan on 7 out of 7 days I will definitely notice a difference.

One major difference I did notice is that I start to feel more physically mobile at 343lbs, my knees are less painful with the arthritis and I move around with a bit more agility. If I could listen to my body it would be excellent.

To help me with weight loss, now I have lost some weight myself, my doctor has offered me Oralstat. Having done some research on this drug I am not so sure I want medical intervention to help me, I want to do this by re-educating my eating pattern and eating style. Before I re-think again about medical intervention I am going to give myself until the end of June (just over 3 months) and work on my feelings, the triggers to me eating, my feelings of hunger and when I find it difficult to be controlled. If I can understand these I may be able to work with them for long-term weight loss and, more importantly, weight maintenance.

Come on girl, get on with it for another week! Take the positive from this week - I have lost 2lbs! I also found I had passed my VTCT Swedish Body Massage and Health & Safety courses, and got 2 lovely certificates. Only reflexology to complete and that is two new practical subjects learnt that could help me to a different future. I want to learn how to do facials next (beauty and holistic).